Weight: 233 pounds
Goal: 160 pounds

This morning I weighed in, figuring that Monday would be a good day to start things off with a bang… or even a cough and sputter.  I have to say that I was not shocked to see that number, in fact I’m ok with it.  I was 235.6 a week ago - so this can be seen as the start of something good.

I’m tired of being fat.

I’m hoping to clock up the willpower again and do it.  I know I can!

I did find today really hard.  I’m such a carbohydrate woman its unreal.  I also noticed when I ate today that I eat when I’m stressing out a bit at work.  I’m looking to graze.  So I’m working on that - giving myself healthier options when I’m feeling stressed and want to eat.  Eventually I want to cut this out completely… but I’m going to do it slow and easy and then I don’t freak out and binge.

What I ate today:

Breakfast
2 packages oatmeal (one maple/spice and one regular)
1 granola bar - Strawberry w/yogurt
1 cup coffee

Snack
1 Activa yogurt
1 cup fruit (grapes and blueberries)
1 cup tea

Lunch
4 slices whole wheat bread
2 slices cheese
2 tbsp light mayo
2 slices ham
2 Weight Watchers mint chocolates

Snack
3 Weight Watchers chocolates
1 granola bar
1 light hot chocolate

Dinner
2 cups “Shipwreck Dinner” - a la Kraft Canada website
1/2 cup coleslaw salad
1 diet coke
1 popcycle

Exercise
25 minutes Wii
- Exercise program: I’m ranked at 54 (for my exercise age)
- Tennis (Best of 5)
- Bowling
- Baseball (2 games - 3 innings)

Now looking at that you’ll think I’m out of my head for putting the Wii up for my exercise - but I swear their sport disk gets my heart pounding and I’m sweating up a storm.  I’m hoping to get a little saved up so I can get the Wii fit.  I’m not sure when that will happen but this is pretty good so far.  I started the day before yesterday on the fitness training - and I was at 58… so down 4 in a couple of days.

I’m totally out of shape, but I’m working on it slowly.  My legs are not my friends currently.  I get really bad calf pain when I walk and they feel rock hard when I get those damn cramps.  So rather than suffer through that - I think its because I’m so damn fat - I’m going to do my cardio on my elliptical bike.  I’m not ready for the gym.  I can’t afford the gym currently and I’m cheap. :)  So I’m going to make do with what I’ve got.  I’ve even got a couple of hand weights that I can start using and just try doing some situps/pushups - the old fashioned way.

I’m going to do this, and I know I have to start encorporating more exercise into the whole scheme of things if I’m going to succeed.

… and I need to up my water.

… take my vitamins.

I know I can do this!  I am a rockstar.

… rather than starting over. Because somehow that’s so damn depressing knowing that I’ve tried and failed more times than I could ever shake a stick at. But today is a new day. A new beginning. I have to look at it like that.

I didn’t go to Weight Watchers last night to weigh in. I’m so embarassed. No it’s not the best excuse in the world. But I am. I’ve gone up, up and away with my weight and I’m mad and depressed with it all.

I want to be 190 pounds by December 15th. That’s around the time as my work’s Christmas party and I’m hoping for a nice outfit that won’t be showing off my fat rolls. I also want to wear some nice boots… but right now my legs are like huge sausages… ugly. No way am I going to wedge my fat legs in nice boots. So I’m hoping getting down to 190 will help me get into that dress… feel better… and wear nice boots. I want to look hot. I want to be the envy of the party.

I’m going to have to work very hard at reaching that goal.

I did my at home weigh in today and I’m 209.6. I’ve to lose 19.6 pounds. I think I can manage that. It’s not like it’s an impossible venture into the great unknown. I know I have to work damn hard. I would LOVE to lose more than that by December 15th… but I’m also a realist… and I think this goal is achievable - and that would be an awesome boost to my lack of confidence in the “how do I look” category.

I’m really really wanting this. More now than ever.

This week’s Weight Watchers weigh in I was down 1 pound - now I sit at 211 pounds.  I’m down a total of 6.4 pounds since I started Weight Watchers.  Yeah, me.

I had hoped to have lost a bit more after 4 weeks.  Kind of rolling on the whole 10 pounds a month - a healthy loss.  Not too extreme.  But I won’t say no to 6.4  - I worked damn hard to try to stay on track.  OMG… that’s hard.  But I did it.

I went out to Montana’s Steakhouse - they aren’t particularly diet friendly.  But a co-worker was having a birthday and we stopped by for supper, and to do the whole birthday whoo hoo.

Didn’t stay too late - just for the supper and then moved on to the mall to go through a store for the gift registry for the wedding.  Hopefully what we picked out runs the gammet of prices - more selection… blah, blah, blah.

So this week, I’m trying to stay in my points range.