[edit]… not really in the mood for chatting right now. I’m not really sure what to do next - but I’ll be back when I feel like I can talk about the weight loss… and less about my life.  Blech.

Ok… I’m off-loading my christmas baking to the good folks I work with.  I’d rather see them eat them than me sitting down and polishing off the whole plate of cookies.  Because I could.. if I wanted too.

Meh.

Tonight I went and got my hair done at the local salon.  I decided to darken up the hair and try to avoid the maintenance of not so real blonde hair.  As I was looking at myself in the mirror… I mean I don’t think I look so bad - but I hate that double chin.  I basically looked - fat.

Maybe I’m having a fat moment.

I have A LOT of fat moments.

I also like to talk about losing weight - and what motivates me - yadda, yadda.  As of yet… it hasn’t really, really motivated me.

Reasons that I should be motivated:

• Being able to play outside with my child without having a hard time..
• I’d like to be slimmer for my Wedding in July.
• I want to lose my double chin.
• I want to be able to sit in the salon chair without trying to shift the fat so I can.
• I want to be able to wear sexy lingerie on my wedding night… and feel good about it.
• I want to be able to go into ANY store in the mall and be able to try on clothes.
• I’m tired of being the fat woman at work.
• I just want to feel better - where my knees and feet don’t always ache.
• I want to be able to love life more without feeling held back by my weight.

Maybe actually writing it out like that will help me… get motivated.  I stopped writing down my points for the past few days because I’ve basically cheated… alot on them - having a cookie here and there, too many weight watcher chocolates, too much carbohydrates, just being points lazy.  Plain and simple I need to kick myself in the ass and get moving.

… well not really… but OMG do my calves h-u-r-t today.  Yesterday I went out for a walk with H.I.T and the future in-laws trying to scope out an ideal wedding location at a local park.  Well, one way to get to these idea places was going up a pretty steep grade of a road.  I was actually alright going up - and felt sort of out breath when we got to the top.

The walk itself was really nice and we’ve picked a location for the wedding.  Hopefully it doesn’t rain!  But I think it will be great - it overlooks the Pacific Ocean.  Very nice - and hopefully not too busy that day.

But this morning - OMG.  My calves just ached.  I don’t think I’ve used them like that in such a long time - and now I’m getting feedback from them.

Ugh.

But it’s a good “ugh”.  Honest.  I feel much better today for pushing myself just a little… and the walk was great.  So hopefully… carry on the momentum and do a little more each day.  Did a light walk today, and all this gung-ho attitude will commence….Umm… after my calves stop hurting that is